First off, these two terms are not synonymous, but refer to two distinctly different, but not entirely independent characteristics of a movement within the conservative American Christian culture. Many pop-cultural names associated with this movement are Bill Gothard, (with his Institute of Basic Life Principles and Advanced Training Institute)[1] and the Duggers[2], who follow his teachings, Doug Phillips of Vision Forum[3], Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies[4], Michael and Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy[5] among others. Much has been written for and against the movement in general, and for and against specific aspects of it in particular. In this and subsequent blog posts, I do not intend to delve into the minutia of any one teacher’s take on this movement or its followers. However, I will present my own stance on this issue and briefly outline where the Lord has lead my family.
I will freely maintain agreement with many of the principles and ideological assumptions that are put forward by this movement, but I do have some sharp disagreements and issues with a number of them. The biggest issue that I see in the movement is a danger of legalism and making points of doctrine out of generalities. Policies must be founded on more than just a technique that works for a small group. Furthermore, Christ is not limited to American Evangelicals, and there is NOTHING that can make anyone holier than anyone else![6] No amount of effort will make us stand before God with less sin or guilt. It is ONLY through the blood of Christ that we have audience before God. Furthermore, there isn’t a simple checklist that you can go by that has all the details of everyday life spelled out for you to earn favor with God. (The closest thing to that is the Law, but that doesn’t provide the means to accomplish the requirements that it demands.[7]) There is very little directive toward gentile Christians.[8]
The main point of this introduction is an emphasis on something that I learned from listening to a recording of a talk by Tom Hemmingway, which was delivered at an Officers’ Christian Fellowship conference at their Spring Canyon retreat center at which he said, “In the essentials, unity, in the non-essentials, liberty.”[9] There are many stylistic and technique issues that I follow with my family that many raise to the level of doctrine, but which I refuse to, nor will I tolerate the abuse of consciences through such practice. If it’s not explicitly stated in scripture, it isn’t scripture, and must not be forced down the throat of everyone around you as if it was.
Ok, now that the disclaimer is done, here are some of the things that make my family distinctive, and many of which emulate, at least superficially, the characteristics of the Patriarchal movement. One of the biggest distinguishing features that differentiates what you see below as our lifestyle is that we strive to ensure that everything we do is well vetted and well examined, from multiple perspectives, and only after a thorough examination, and often a trial of multiple options and alternatives do we settle on a method or technique for our life. Even though clichéd to the point of nausea, the words of Socrates, “the unexamined life is not worth living[10]” are, while not scriptural or without any exception[11], a good tool to keep a sound perspective on life. I chose the profession of arms, and specifically, that of a Naval Officer as my vocation, which has shaped much of the thought processes and the perspective from which we’ve built our home.
We have founded our family on the foundation of the truth of Scripture, and having found it without fault, accepted it’s authority as the recorded covenantal document that describes the nature of God, of man and the relationship between the two. We hold the Apostles and Nicene Creeds[12] as accurate and concise summaries of true doctrine.
I, (Steve), am the commanding officer of my immediate family. I have the responsibility to lead, and cannot abdicate that to Bonita. In the family hierarchy, I see her as my executive officer, (immediate second in command, for those unfamiliar with US Naval command structure). She has my full confidence and authority to act in my stead when I’m not present. I retain the authority of command by negation, but it is seldom used. I lean on her for everything from scheduling of activities and resources to expertise on everything from social interaction to childcare to diet. Her submission to me is predicated on, and is a direct response to my active loving care for her. I cannot expect (nor do I desire) my wife to blindly acquiesce to my every whim. I expect her to take initiative, and to hold her ground in arguing her points to me. I expect her to solve problems when I’m not around, and I highly respect, (and prize), her decision making ability, (which is often much better than my own). I expect her to call me out and hold me accountable for my mistakes. I expect her to question my decisions when they don’t make sense and to force me to explain my reasoning for them. We are a team, and just because I am the husband, doesn’t make me always right. I can’t do this without her strength of character and her fearless adherence to truth, and her love for Christ, which exceeds her love for me, as it should. If I abuse my authority, she has every right, and every duty to appeal to Christ, to the Church, and/or to the civil authorities, as the case requires, for redress of grievances.
We love children, and want a large family! Currently, my wife and I have three living children. We lost two due to miscarriage. We fully believe that all children, even those who die before birth, are precious gifts from God, who created each one upon conception and each is an eternal being, created in the image of God, complete with all the rights and privileges thereof from moment of conception. Therefore, we do not practice any form of birth control that can result in the killing of an unborn child. We practice natural family planning[13] and use of barriers to allow Bonita to recover between pregnancies and to space out the children as appropriate. We know that God is in control of opening or closing the womb, but do not make it a point of doctrine to forgo all human efforts to influence it, while ensuring that we don’t deny each other the intimacy necessary for a healthy marriage. We will not put a limit on the maximum number of children that God can give us, but won’t overtax ourselves by being rash or imprudent.
We believe that the best possible primary and secondary education for our children is home school and we will educate our children in our own home, under our own supervision and utilizing the curriculum and teaching methods we deem best suited to each child. This doesn’t mean that we don’t take advantage of external expertise. On the contrary, we regularly utilize outside resources, such as the ABA therapy[14] which one of our children attends three or four times per week. We just reserve final jurisdiction and ensure that the best method available to us is utilized. Homeschooling allows us the flexibility to apply the best learning resources to each individual child, giving them the best possible advantage possible, and ensuring that they receive a balanced, and fully vetted education to prepare them to understand and critically evaluate and successfully interpret and operate in the world into which they are live. Toward this end, we are pursuing what is known as a “Classical” education for our children, to include the grammar, didactic and rhetoric phases of education and thought development.[15]
We are convinced of the benefits of natural and gentile healing techniques such as dietary changes, chiropractic adjustments and the use of naturopathic remedies. Furthermore, we are not convinced that normal pregnancy and childbirth is a medical emergency but rather a normal process that is better administered by a caring midwife in a home than by a jumpy surgeon in a hospital. We avoid all unnecessary and unwarranted medical intervention, to include circumcision, (we’re not Jewish, therefore, we are not bound to a covenant that is so marked), unnecessary inoculations, or anything else, without proper vetting and justification. We do not deny the benefits of western medicine, or fail to make use of them judiciously, but only as necessary.
That’s all for this post. More to follow.
[10] Plato’s Apology
[11] Life is worth living, whether examined or not. My point here is that I believe that we sin against our Creator when we waste the life He gives us by not utilizing the reason that He’s endowed us with to the fullest extent that He has made us capable of, and living in accordance to the honest and logical outcomes of our understanding.
[13] Most good info on NFP comes from the Roman Catholic Church, which has a strong history of upholding the sanctity of life, far above the Protestant Denominations of Christianity. Here’s somewhere to start: http://www.natural-family-planning.info/
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