20100904
And
every creature which is in heaven, and on the earth, and under the
earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I
saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that
sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever.
Revelation 5:13
Wives,
submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the
husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the
church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is
subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every
thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church,
and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the
washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a
glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but
that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their
wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For
no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it,
even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his
flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and
mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one
flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the
church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife
even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:22-33
For
a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image
and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.
1 Corinthians 11:7
Whose
adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and
of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the
hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the
ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of
great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also,
who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their
own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose
daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any
amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to
knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and
as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not
hindered.
1 Peter 3:3-7
It seems to me that
men are given honor in their created nature, and women are given glory.
A man owes glory to God, and a woman owes honor to Him. This is the
source of the love and respect issue. The heart of a man is honor, and
thus, when he is respected, it acknowledges his honor. The heart of a
woman on the other hand, is glory, and when she is loved, it
acknowledges her glory. The whole ‘self worth’ thing that is touted in
postmodern psychology is basically a reaction of the individual to their
sense of one of these core values, either honor, or glory.
There
isn’t anything more glorious in all creation than a lady who is in right
relationship with God and those around her. Moreover, there isn’t
anything more honorable than a man, in right relationship to God and to
those around him. Furthermore, the converse is also true: the most
vile, inglorious thing I’ve ever seen is a woman who is out of proper
relation to God and those around her. Also, the most dishonorable thing
in creation is a man who has violated his relationships with God and
those around him. Women don’t suffer from dishonor or disgrace like men
do. Men don’t suffer from lack of glory or beauty like women do.
When
you try to replace a woman’s glory with honor, you defile her. When
you try to replace a man’s honor with glory, you emasculate him. Yet,
that is what the Fall has done. It has robbed us of the very core of
our nature, and there is not a man or woman who isn’t feeling that
void. That is why women will go to extreme lengths to prove that they
are attractive, that they are beautiful, that they are glorious. This
often ends up in a cheapening of their glory, selling themselves for
money, trinkets, or empty promises. Men, to prove that they have honor,
will sell themselves short by going to porn or violence, or seeking
power among their peers, to prove to themselves that they are worthy of
honor. Yet, there’s nothing that can honor a man, or glorify a woman
except the One who created the one honorable, and the other, glorious.
For He in Himself, is the source and culmination of all honor and
glory. He is worthy of all honor and of all glory. Therefore, since
the heart of man is honor, it must be given to God. Since the heart of
woman is glory, it must be given to God. Any honor or glory that we
possess is but a gift of His honor, of His glory, and will be required
of us by Him. The honor of man glorifies God. The glory of woman
honors God.
19 July 2013
The only two unconditional distictions of the Steve Griffing home, (conclusions from the examination of the QF and Patriarchy movement).
If you've read my previous two blog posts, you can see that I take issue with harsh or legalistic approaches to family life and child rearing, while still maintaining a very conservative outlook on it. This position comes from my adherence to two things: Truth and Love. Truth without love is Law, and it condemns. Love without truth is a lie and it excuses. Both truth and love are best found in Christ[1], and in His sacrifice. Mercy and grace mean nothing without authenticity to define them. Being authentic in all things, without guile toward anyone, and striving at all times to ensure a life of integrity, is the only safeguard against legalism on the one side and license on the other. However, as Paul wrote, “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.”[2] On these two pillars I will fight to the death. My hope in Christ is built on His love and His truth. I therefore will validate everything upon these. If there is a lack of either in my life, I will change myself until I am both loving and authentic. If there is something in the things I teach my children or the way I conduct my business from day to day that fails to align with this, then I will change it. I am not perfect, nor am I the supreme authority on any matter. I am only a man, and I will do my best to remain humble and open-minded. (Being open-minded doesn’t mean that I don’t fully embrace, and risk life and possessions for truth that is sure. Once I’ve settled on the truth of a matter, I am more than willing to trust it and live out its implications.) What I want to avoid is the pharisaical legalism and ensuing hypocrisy that is noticeably present in several of the more outspoken members of the QF movement, particularly the portion that calls itself “Biblical Patriarchy.”
And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.”[2] On these two pillars I will fight to the death. My hope in Christ is built on His love and His truth. I therefore will validate everything upon these. If there is a lack of either in my life, I will change myself until I am both loving and authentic. If there is something in the things I teach my children or the way I conduct my business from day to day that fails to align with this, then I will change it. I am not perfect, nor am I the supreme authority on any matter. I am only a man, and I will do my best to remain humble and open-minded. (Being open-minded doesn’t mean that I don’t fully embrace, and risk life and possessions for truth that is sure. Once I’ve settled on the truth of a matter, I am more than willing to trust it and live out its implications.) What I want to avoid is the pharisaical legalism and ensuing hypocrisy that is noticeably present in several of the more outspoken members of the QF movement, particularly the portion that calls itself “Biblical Patriarchy.”
16 July 2013
Thoughts on the Patriarchal or Quiver-Full (QF) movement (Part 2)
This past year, we’ve completely turned our diet upside down, and now follow the “Trim Healthy Mama[1]” diet that Bonita found as a workable diet instead of my more radical recommendations of the GAPS Diet[2] or Gracie Diet[3]… I’ve found that since I quit eating grains and sugar, (and started drinking kefir and being intentional about my gut health), I’ve been noticeably healthier, with less indigestion, flatulence, more energy and a clearer head. Bonita has had noticeably improved energy and the eczema that she’s had since childhood has diminished significantly.
When we were young and idealistic, we jumped on the QF bandwagon and read a book called “Train up a Child” by the Michael Pearl. (I’d link it, except that might indicate my approval or endorsement of this text.) Let’s just say that our views on the subject differ significantly from Mr and Mrs Pearl’s take on it. I don’t want my children to tremble in my presence out of fear, or to accept things that they haven’t personally vetted or thought through, well into adulthood. My aim is to raise young women and young men who have the foundation to critically evaluate their environment and come to a judicious conclusion about it, no matter what they are faced with.
Furthermore, while we heartily agree that while children are being raised, the wife’s vocation is the rearing of the children, and should not be abdicated or adulterated by another career, the vocation of motherhood isn’t the only legitimate vocation for women, and for someone whose children are grown, or for one who has no children, there is no reason not to pursue another vocation. On that note, Bonita plans to pursue midwifery after our children are grown, and that is awesome! Working outside the home isn’t a sin for women, and leaving home at adulthood to pursue a college degree or a career prior to marriage… is highly encouraged in the Griffing house for both men and women. I expect all my children to be self sufficient before they reach their 20th birthday, and be able to strike out on their own, with only advisory guidance from Bonita and me from that point on.
That builds into my next point, I am not responsible to my father, mother or my in-laws for my actions, and am not subject to their authority. I expect the same of my children when they come of age. Bonita and I are no longer on speaking terms with her parents for this very reason. While I hope and pray that my values will be transmitted on by my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, from this generation until Christ returns in glory, it is not for me to enforce once my children have left my home as adults. They are at that point no longer my minor children, and are responsible adults, subject to the laws of the land and the Law of God, but no longer to the rules of the Steve Griffing house. I have no more right to interfere in the internal affairs of the nuclear family of one of my descendants than any other Christian American. If and only if there is a clear violation of the law of our land, or flagrant moral abuse can I interject at all, and then only in the role of an outsider.
15 July 2013
Thoughts on the Patriarchal or Quiver-Full (QF) movement
First off, these two terms are not synonymous, but refer to two distinctly different, but not entirely independent characteristics of a movement within the conservative American Christian culture. Many pop-cultural names associated with this movement are Bill Gothard, (with his Institute of Basic Life Principles and Advanced Training Institute)[1] and the Duggers[2], who follow his teachings, Doug Phillips of Vision Forum[3], Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies[4], Michael and Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy[5] among others. Much has been written for and against the movement in general, and for and against specific aspects of it in particular. In this and subsequent blog posts, I do not intend to delve into the minutia of any one teacher’s take on this movement or its followers. However, I will present my own stance on this issue and briefly outline where the Lord has lead my family.
I will freely maintain agreement with many of the principles and ideological assumptions that are put forward by this movement, but I do have some sharp disagreements and issues with a number of them. The biggest issue that I see in the movement is a danger of legalism and making points of doctrine out of generalities. Policies must be founded on more than just a technique that works for a small group. Furthermore, Christ is not limited to American Evangelicals, and there is NOTHING that can make anyone holier than anyone else![6] No amount of effort will make us stand before God with less sin or guilt. It is ONLY through the blood of Christ that we have audience before God. Furthermore, there isn’t a simple checklist that you can go by that has all the details of everyday life spelled out for you to earn favor with God. (The closest thing to that is the Law, but that doesn’t provide the means to accomplish the requirements that it demands.[7]) There is very little directive toward gentile Christians.[8]
The main point of this introduction is an emphasis on something that I learned from listening to a recording of a talk by Tom Hemmingway, which was delivered at an Officers’ Christian Fellowship conference at their Spring Canyon retreat center at which he said, “In the essentials, unity, in the non-essentials, liberty.”[9] There are many stylistic and technique issues that I follow with my family that many raise to the level of doctrine, but which I refuse to, nor will I tolerate the abuse of consciences through such practice. If it’s not explicitly stated in scripture, it isn’t scripture, and must not be forced down the throat of everyone around you as if it was.
Ok, now that the disclaimer is done, here are some of the things that make my family distinctive, and many of which emulate, at least superficially, the characteristics of the Patriarchal movement. One of the biggest distinguishing features that differentiates what you see below as our lifestyle is that we strive to ensure that everything we do is well vetted and well examined, from multiple perspectives, and only after a thorough examination, and often a trial of multiple options and alternatives do we settle on a method or technique for our life. Even though clichéd to the point of nausea, the words of Socrates, “the unexamined life is not worth living[10]” are, while not scriptural or without any exception[11], a good tool to keep a sound perspective on life. I chose the profession of arms, and specifically, that of a Naval Officer as my vocation, which has shaped much of the thought processes and the perspective from which we’ve built our home.
We have founded our family on the foundation of the truth of Scripture, and having found it without fault, accepted it’s authority as the recorded covenantal document that describes the nature of God, of man and the relationship between the two. We hold the Apostles and Nicene Creeds[12] as accurate and concise summaries of true doctrine.
I, (Steve), am the commanding officer of my immediate family. I have the responsibility to lead, and cannot abdicate that to Bonita. In the family hierarchy, I see her as my executive officer, (immediate second in command, for those unfamiliar with US Naval command structure). She has my full confidence and authority to act in my stead when I’m not present. I retain the authority of command by negation, but it is seldom used. I lean on her for everything from scheduling of activities and resources to expertise on everything from social interaction to childcare to diet. Her submission to me is predicated on, and is a direct response to my active loving care for her. I cannot expect (nor do I desire) my wife to blindly acquiesce to my every whim. I expect her to take initiative, and to hold her ground in arguing her points to me. I expect her to solve problems when I’m not around, and I highly respect, (and prize), her decision making ability, (which is often much better than my own). I expect her to call me out and hold me accountable for my mistakes. I expect her to question my decisions when they don’t make sense and to force me to explain my reasoning for them. We are a team, and just because I am the husband, doesn’t make me always right. I can’t do this without her strength of character and her fearless adherence to truth, and her love for Christ, which exceeds her love for me, as it should. If I abuse my authority, she has every right, and every duty to appeal to Christ, to the Church, and/or to the civil authorities, as the case requires, for redress of grievances.
We love children, and want a large family! Currently, my wife and I have three living children. We lost two due to miscarriage. We fully believe that all children, even those who die before birth, are precious gifts from God, who created each one upon conception and each is an eternal being, created in the image of God, complete with all the rights and privileges thereof from moment of conception. Therefore, we do not practice any form of birth control that can result in the killing of an unborn child. We practice natural family planning[13] and use of barriers to allow Bonita to recover between pregnancies and to space out the children as appropriate. We know that God is in control of opening or closing the womb, but do not make it a point of doctrine to forgo all human efforts to influence it, while ensuring that we don’t deny each other the intimacy necessary for a healthy marriage. We will not put a limit on the maximum number of children that God can give us, but won’t overtax ourselves by being rash or imprudent.
We believe that the best possible primary and secondary education for our children is home school and we will educate our children in our own home, under our own supervision and utilizing the curriculum and teaching methods we deem best suited to each child. This doesn’t mean that we don’t take advantage of external expertise. On the contrary, we regularly utilize outside resources, such as the ABA therapy[14] which one of our children attends three or four times per week. We just reserve final jurisdiction and ensure that the best method available to us is utilized. Homeschooling allows us the flexibility to apply the best learning resources to each individual child, giving them the best possible advantage possible, and ensuring that they receive a balanced, and fully vetted education to prepare them to understand and critically evaluate and successfully interpret and operate in the world into which they are live. Toward this end, we are pursuing what is known as a “Classical” education for our children, to include the grammar, didactic and rhetoric phases of education and thought development.[15]
We are convinced of the benefits of natural and gentile healing techniques such as dietary changes, chiropractic adjustments and the use of naturopathic remedies. Furthermore, we are not convinced that normal pregnancy and childbirth is a medical emergency but rather a normal process that is better administered by a caring midwife in a home than by a jumpy surgeon in a hospital. We avoid all unnecessary and unwarranted medical intervention, to include circumcision, (we’re not Jewish, therefore, we are not bound to a covenant that is so marked), unnecessary inoculations, or anything else, without proper vetting and justification. We do not deny the benefits of western medicine, or fail to make use of them judiciously, but only as necessary.
That’s all for this post. More to follow.
[10] Plato’s Apology
[11] Life is worth living, whether examined or not. My point here is that I believe that we sin against our Creator when we waste the life He gives us by not utilizing the reason that He’s endowed us with to the fullest extent that He has made us capable of, and living in accordance to the honest and logical outcomes of our understanding.
[13] Most good info on NFP comes from the Roman Catholic Church, which has a strong history of upholding the sanctity of life, far above the Protestant Denominations of Christianity. Here’s somewhere to start: http://www.natural-family-planning.info/
09 July 2013
Discription and meaning of the Griffing Seal
I think that it's time that i explain this seal that you see in the background of this blog, for like everything else here, it took a lot of thought to come up with.
Discription:
*On a Griffiths Tartan, a buckler gules embodered and crossed sable; saltire-wise four trinity-knots argent upon the buckler; foremost a gryffin rampant or, and two stones, in dexter azure and sinister of the third, upon the border; of the third upon the border, in chief "GRIFFING" for the house and in base "MICAH 6:8" for motto.*
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